At some point you always seem to get to the happy parts of your life. Like when you got your first kiss from that special person back in 2004 or when you got the keys to your very own first apartment. But, the amusing thoughts always ends, they fade, along with your emotional memories from the past. Because, of some reason, other things got your attention, so you threw away what you had.

And after years of trying to find true happiness, you kinda think back, wondering why you made certain choices. Some were real bullsh*t choices. Correction; many were. But in the end, I try to think; hey, those decisions made you to who you are today. Would you really want to go back and change the past? Do you really want to change your personality? .. I keep my answer unanswered.

Let me tell you the short story of me: I used to be this quiet mouse with no self esteem. And when I got tired of being pushed around; I got bitter. My bitterness turned into kinda more open thinking when I realized that no one likes a bitter girl. I started to analyze people around me. I grew a lot. I learned how to read people. Nowadays, I try to put my "new" skills in action more often, to be more responsive. To see people for who they are and show compassion. Trust me, it's a very fine line between being responsive and a little bit too analytic. I grew more, and I'm still growing. I don't think I could put a label on myself today. Who am I? .. It's a freakin' roller coaster.

I think, after this moment of thinking and writing this blog post, my conclusion is that I need to stop. I should stop thinking. Stop. Just fix it, fix myself. Do it. No regrets. Forward!

If only someone could break the silence.